Today’s post contains thoughts and inspiration around why delight is so important on a daily basis. Also included are links to books about delight. AND phone backgrounds for a reminder to find delight today!
Simply put, this year has had a handful of twists and unexpected turns. Whilst I do enjoy roller coasters (they tickle me and I laugh and laugh), I’d rather not experience anything similar in real life. However, as we all know, rarely do things go {read more}
Happy Thursday! My last post about courage really seem to hit home for most. Thank you to all of you who reached out afterward, letting me know that it resonated. And, a special thank you to all of you who have continued to be supportive of not just me and my blog, but all of the creative people in your lives. I sincerely feel fortunate to have a group of close friends who create. Over the years, it has been inspirational to watch the creators in my life grow and build confidence. This evolution I’ve seen in others, lights an eagerness in me to see where my creative journey will take me.
Today’s post is a bit of a follow-up to the last one, but also could stand alone. Especially for those who do not consider themselves creators! This most my be self-exposure in my own little way. And… awayyyyyy we go!
Have you recently had a moment when you felt like your heart was literally lighting up? A moment when you felt so inspired or joyful it was visible?! Or maybe something resonated with you so much you felt like, ‘finally this is what I’ve felt all along!”?
The urge to conform or fit in, to succumb to peer pressure and to ‘sell-out’ can feel all too real sometimes. In life (at least here in the United States), it seems as though there is an consistent desire to ‘fit-in’. Outside of any political agenda’s that very clearly exist in other countries, one might think that the ‘land of the free’ would be immune to this desire for conformity. Based on the comments from my last post, I do not think think I am alone with this experience.
Having gone to a school which required uniforms during my teenage years; I was fairly insulated from fashion trends and the like. Interestingly though, somehow at that age, we found ways to express ourselves but only to go as far as being validated.
Why is it that it is human nature, to want to be liked? If anyone knows the answer to this question and has decent reading materials, let me know! This is where it becomes so important to be your authentic self. Not only with your clothing, but your expression overall.
Do you remember when Malcolm Gladwell’s book, “The Tipping Point” became a best seller?
This book fascinates me. It goes as far to make one realize that there is no ‘normal’. The trends we see appear can change at any moment. But also! EACH of us can easily create those trends instead of following another.
Funny enough, the feeling I speak of above came over me while I was writing Monday’s blog post. As I was doing research and came across the work of Rollo May, each of his quotes lit me up inside. The appreciation and understanding he is able to express over the creation process, as well as his other pieces of work on love resonated with me in a profound way!
The feeling that overcame me was something I honestly hadn’t felt in probably too long. If you know me personally, you know that I LOVE school and everything that comes with it… learning, reading, thinking. In addition, I tend to be a very curious person. When my heart lit up it brought me closer to myself in a way. Memories of pouring over books, researching authors and their lives flooded over me. The intensity of being true to myself led me to wonder, why has it been so long since I’ve felt this?!
Perhaps it is situational – being curious didn’t really seem like something to explore while EVERYTHING was so uncertain over the past year and a half. Even still, the feeling of coming home to myself in a way I haven’t in years was heart warming.
Two creators (one more controversial than the other) whom I look up to for being unapologetically themselves are Jeffree Star and Julien Solomita. Both are living out their lives in very different ways, but authentically themselves.
Jeffree has overcome massive setbacks in life, extreme judgement and even mental instability. He leveraged his skills as a creator through many outlets, originally becoming MySpace famous. Now, he is a successful business person, YouTuber and inspiration to many communities. Although his approach, style and presentation are certainly not accepted by most; he still shows up everyday as his authentic self.
Julien on the hand is more of a ‘regular’ guy. However, his work is non conventional and he explores new ways of doing things consistently. The thing about Julien that inspires me the most is his endless search for uniqueness while maintaining excellence. He knowingly is a scatter-brain, however he hones that energy to provide fresh, beautiful content through his video production. In other ways, he contributes through live streaming and has learned the art of monetization which all of us as creators can learn from.
This leads me to wonder. Instead of asking, “What would you do if you had a million dollars?” Perhaps the real question should be, “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t be judged by others?”
If you knew your work would be accepted. Or, your style wouldn’t be criticized. How would you show up to life tomorrow? Would you repeat yesterday or do something new? What lessons or skill would you learn so you could finally get up on stage? Perhaps, your voice would be more confident and you’d let your thoughts out? Truly think through this and take even a small step back toward yourself.
Keeping in mind, this isn’t about not trying. This is more so about actually being. Meaning, if you want to BE a singer, a step forward wouldn’t be getting on stage tomorrow. But instead, taking voice lessons and building your confidence. It isn’t about confirming to sound like everyone else, but BEING the best version of YOURSELF.
Please share your thoughts down below in the comments, or on social. I’d love to strike up the conversation and hear from you all about how you can be more yourself! Also would love to know your role models in this space, as I’ve shared two of mine 🙂
LOVE, rose and bianca
Here we are, May 2021. All things considered, how is the speed of this year going compared to last? For me, this year seems to be going much faster. Perhaps this is due to becoming more used to working from home and gradually less unknowns. {read more}
That dreaded feeling Do you ever find yourself asking, “What should I do now?” Potentially this question flashes before you at an unexpected dead-end in the road, and others it comes a ‘real-life’ dead-end. Sometimes, long-time-coming or completely unexpected, this feeling isn’t normally a good {read more}
There are many women in my life that are absolutely outstanding. Amazing mothers, great professionals, wise educators, content creators, determined students and brave authors.
No matter their ‘title’ in life, they are all influencers in one way or another. With a wide variety of personalities, they all have ONE thing in common: they set out to make the world a better place. Whether that world is their immediate home, the hospital they work in, the classroom they lead or their actual audience. Some use their words to inspire, their hands to help or their words to guide.
In each case, they provide an example, they are role models, they encourage, they coach and mentor. They listen and learn. They comfort and share. These women want every person that is apart of their lives to flourish.
NOTE: I have read or listened to each of these books. Also, the links above are Amazon Affiliate links.
Upon reflection, I realize just how many women have shaped who I am today. Not going to be able to name all of them, and as I was writing this, more and more flooded into my memory bank. One person I didn’t name in today’s post is mentioned on my inspiration page, along with additional books by female authors. It makes me realize how fortunate I truly am! Especially the time I was growing up – all the women before me who stood in their convictions and made sure we could vote. The women who broke the glass ceiling and blazed trails that were previously not available to us!
The next section is literally me gushing about many amazing women in my life. Starting from the early years going until now. Of course, this does not even come close to describing every one! However, one commonality is each women’s nurturing sprit.
Going back all the way to pre-school, one of my teachers would shake the milk and ask if I wanted a ‘milkshake’. Even today, when I shake my oat milk, I think of this woman. We shared a last name but weren’t family. This little simple gesture still warms my heart.
Next, one of my grammar school teachers, who happened to teach me English. (I think she reads these… hi Mrs. D!). She truly wanted to see each of her students succeed. Her directness, her smile and her laugh, and her overall vibe was so regal but comforting at the same time. Being in her presence I always felt held to a high expectation but also so safe and cared for.
There was one nun in particular, who gave me the ability to be bold, honest and confident. She never wanted to see me conform, and always wanted to see me do my best.
In college, my English professor comes to mind. Her ability to draw out emotion from literature, and teach us how to express ourselves was almost spiritual.
Right out of college my first leader taught me EVERYTHING about real-world business. She gave me a chance. Thankful that she took me traveling, helped me build confidence. The best part, she role modeled how to be classy and taught me the nuance of being client facing. Outside of work, she is an amazing mother and gracious wife. She takes care of her family in a way that is so gentle, graceful and something I hope I can be one day.
Another amazing woman in my life is the mother of one of my good friends. She was almost a mother to me in college. Having just spoken to her yesterday, immediate thoughts of how strong, honest and caring she is.
My memories include lots of yummy homecooked meals, a sweet and loving laughter. No matter if I just stopped in with no notice or made arrangements to see her months in advance, she always had a hot cup of coffee and a meal to whip up. She and her husband treated me like a daughter, they came to visit me in NC. She’s always always made me feel welcome, heard and loved. She is another amazing woman who is confident, genuine and strong.
Gosh, I could seriously go on and on. One more for now and I’ll save some for the years to come. One of my family members. Her voice is as smooth as butter. She ministers to many, speaks life into others and all while dealing with quite a bit within her own household. Knowing that she’s seen more in this life than most could handle, she stays true to her faith and helps others grow theirs. Even though we live miles apart, I know I am in her prayers and she in mine.
On this International Women’s Day,
Honor those who have grown the love in your life.
First, take a moment to recognize yourself. Take a few moments to think about how far you’ve come as a person and in your field. Acknowledge your strength and the difference you make. Allow yourself to let appreciation for your good decisions wash over you. Realize the strength it takes to make the improvements to yourself.
After, think about the women who have impacted your life! If they are still on earth, maybe send a text or make a phone call to let them know. Not only to say thank you, but to let them know how you are doing! What I’ve noticed over time is that most women truly do want to see others succeed! Therefore, if someone has has a positive influence on you, they most likely also want to hear how that helped you grow!
Lastly, reflect a moment on someone that may look up to you as the role model and example. Pour into their life today or the near future, open up if you feel comfortable! Being vulnerable and sharing the hurdles you may have overcome are sometimes the moments that make the biggest impact.
Squirrel A lesson in self-realization and the need to embrace perceived flaws. There is only one person in my life whom, I can heartily say, can be as easily distracted as me. The realization of my distracted tendency came only after I met this person. They {read more}
Life is… Life is… Alllright be honest what word came to mind after the … ? Sweet? Good? Blah? Don’t even want to talk about it?? Our lives are made up of lots of days, (according to google women live on average to be about {read more}
Over the years, goal setting has become the one habit that has brought the most deliberate success. One of these days we will dive a bit deeper into why goal setting did not originally come natural to me and how I have cultivated my mind to want to sit down and organize my life in this way.
Yesterday’s post was potentially more fun for most. I can assure you I would much rather dream big, and find pictures that represent the aesthetic I’m going for rather than sit down and write out specifically what I am going to do to get where I want to go. As much as the writing out part is not as fun for me, it does produce massive results through specific focus and solidifying the potential steps.
I have also found that writing my goals and plans allows me to truly reflect on what I actually want. The process of writing out the words allows me to put the intangible into a tangible form where I can fully express truly what it is I am wanting and why.
Fortunately we live in a time where information is so accessible and goal setting doesn’t have to be a re-creation of the wheel each time, HOWEVER, and that is a big however, I do believe finding ones own techniques to get to your goals is most important. What works for me, or anyone else, might not necessary work for you.
If you are new to this, please use this as a guide but always remember to put your own spin on things, test different ways out and determine what works BEST for you. When it comes to goal setting, something I found is that the harder I had to ‘effort’ to make something happen, the more likely it just wasn’t for me. The things that were for me came with hard work, small attitude adjustments and once in awhile a pep talk but I wouldn’t feel like I was uphill the entire way.
This post will go through a goal setting strategy using the focus areas from my vision board creation. Enjoy!
Whether it be my daily journaling, monthly reflections or yearly goal setting, my first step is to fully be present. Meaning, set aside any distractions. Give yourself an ample amount of time to complete this exercise.
Typically, I will make some coffee or tea, put some soothing music on and do even 5 minutes of meditation before I begin.
It is helpful to have already selected a theme for your year, this should be something somewhat broad, potentially just a word that means something to you. I talked a bit about this in my vision board post and gave some ideas, check it out here. My theme for 2021 is: CREATE.
My word of the year came easily to me this season because I knew I was ready to step into a season of decreasing my consumption of media and increasing my output. Being a creator has been something long overdue for me and I knew by using this word to theme my year it would be a daily reminder of my purpose in life.
In years past my word of the year has not come as easily. Last year it was ‘Celebrate’ and well… we all know how that went (insert laugh track here).
The important part when selecting your theme is that when you read the word or see it, it speaks to you and has meaning to you.
If you have created focus areas during your vision board session, or have particular categories of goals in mind, start by writing those down, almost as an outline.
As an example my focus areas for 2021 are:
It’s time to set your goals. At this point, you have given yourself the space to DREAM BIG, organize your thoughts and get clear on how you want the year to feel, as well as categorize into your top focus areas. Now is the time to be realistic and most importantly, EXCITED. Once this step is complete you will be well on your way!
Using your previous brainstorm and theme for the year. List up to 3 goals per focus area. It will be important that each goal has 3 parts:
Whenever I have embarked on any type of personal development or goal setting, the most encouraging examples are personal and from the heart. To keep things real, here are my goals, by focus area for 2021; I have decided to timebox my goals into month, so these are specific to January 2021. I will provide updates on progress 🙂
I tend to be rather intense when I set goals, so one of the things I’d like to keep in mind as I go about January, is to make sure I am enjoying the process and not just making a tick mark at the end of each day!
Okay! Now it is your turn!
If you are up for it, comment below your top goals or just one you are most excited about!
Comforts Today I want to share with you a few of my favorite things… these are my tried and true. The tested, the staples, the things I go back to over and over again. If you are anything like me, there are days when we {read more}