Welcome back fam! I’m going to get straight to the point: for the longest time I forced myself to be someone I wasn’t. Instead of embracing the delicate, soft parts of myself; I showed the world only my thorns. Randomly finding this little quiz on {read more}
What sets your soul on fire? Do you remember the last time you had an inner knowing that you CAN and WILL achieve your dreams? Today’s blog post discusses the importance of passion and tenacity when meeting your goals.
Sometimes, after a long period of burn out, we loose motivation. Often, we see that coming. However, other times, the lack of motivation feels like it comes out of no where. In either case, this feeling can be quite unsettling. Especially for those who are typically monotone in regards to base level mood.
Having experienced demotivation for multiple reasons, I’ve learned to relax into it, knowing it won’t last forever. This post will discuss the two main situations where demotivation pops up for me and some types on what to do!
During periods of burnt out, the lack of motivation can almost be anticipated and welcomed. In this situation demotivation can be overcome with rest, hydration and shifting my attention to something different. My thought is, its our brains taking over and saying ‘enough already, put this down, take a rest.’ Over the years I’ve learned to use this as an indicator (kind of like the check engine light), and give myself a break.
On the flip side, recently my lack of motivation came all of a sudden. It is rather disorienting when this happens. One day you wake up, log on for work (or soon, hopefully walk through the doors) and you’d rather just sit there and stare at the wall. Have you ever been there?
This happens to me more often than I’d like to admit. Partially a symptom of the current environment, and partially because I’ve just got too much going on. The last time I’ve felt this way I was getting annoyed with myself. Typically feeling fairly even keel day to day – not always over the moon about things, but also happy to be working. It tends to frustrate me when all of a sudden that inner drive seems to disappear.
After some self-reflection, I realize the ‘out of the blue’ feeling isn’t really out of the blue. For me personally, I’m coming to realize the precursor in this situation is actually feeling like I have TOO much to do (like pre-burnt out). Or, in in some cases, when I feel like even IF I do something, it won’t change the outcome or have the expected burnout. Almost a ‘what is the point’ thought.
Figuring out the root case to the shift in motivation, in my opinion, helps to determine what to do next.
When this feeling pops up, it is first important to just give yourself a second to process. Allowing yourself to actually feel the feeling before trying to ward it away can help in the long run.
After acknowledging the feeling and processing a bit, sort out what the root cause really is. Perhaps it stemmed from burn out, feeling like you aren’t making an impact or simply having too much to do. Or maybe someone made a remark that didn’t translate well. In either case, without pity figure out when the feeling started and the cause.
It’s time to stare that root cause in the face… the to-do list, the concern over your impact, the sleepless nights… whatever it is, look it in the eye. Face value, evaluate the situation, gather feedback and come to an honest conclusion.
For example, if your lack of motivation is coming from a concern over the impact you have, its time to gather feedback. Yes this takes bravery, however it is better than making an assumption. Survey a handful of honest people and ask them if what you are doing makes an impact.
The last piece to this, “what to do when you aren’t motivated” is to actually take action. Sometimes a minor adjustment can solve the issue – a nap, a walk, a day off. However in other cases, completely changing the approach, or the audience is necessary. Using the previous 3 steps, determine an action to take or an adjustment to make, and try it. This shift could allow for a close to immediate change in motivation, or it could build back over time.
I would love to hear your thoughts and stories surrounding this topic. As always, feel free to add to the list here and give some real-life experience on what has worked for you!
At one point or another, the majority of people find themselves in a situation they wish they weren’t in. Usually, this happens after a series of small decisions that slowly took the person off course. Rarely are these situations purposeful or an all-of-a-sudden type moment. {read more}
Squirrel A lesson in self-realization and the need to embrace perceived flaws. There is only one person in my life whom, I can heartily say, can be as easily distracted as me. The realization of my distracted tendency came only after I met this person. They {read more}
Happy February 1st!
Are you excited to embark on the second month of 2021, fresh faced and bright eyed?! This weekend I wrote out February goals and revisited my 2021 kick-off. After making changes to my vision board, I’ve found there a benefit to make a digital one!
What are some of the things you are most looking forward to in February? My top 4 are:
Originally planning on writing about something different, this post is instead inspired by a conversation with a good friend this past weekend. So thankful to have her in my life for many reasons! We are similar in disposition – goal setting, mostly confident, high achieving women. Our conversations are fluid and we can respectfully disagree while opening our minds and exploring topics.
The story of how we met is rather funny. She loves to exaggerate it more and more each time she tells it. Here is my version:
Our company had gone through a small reorganization, prompting my department to host a global meeting in Amsterdam. While my department would be there all week, her department was simply consulting for an afternoon. Therefore, she was flying from the United States to the Netherlands and back in two days. (I promise this is the non-exaggerated version!)
Because of the changes my department was experiencing, her department was presenting on the principles of change management and continuous improvement. Toward the end of her presentation, she prompted for questions, to which I raised my hand. When she called me, I stood up, introduced myself (probably made a joke) and then said something, “You’ve presented to us all the things we should NOT do, but could you give us some guidelines on what we SHOULD do?” (<– this is the part she loves to exaggerate, every time it makes me laugh.)
Afterward, we had the opportunity to sit next to one another at dinner. It was this point she called me out on my question. This interaction allowed a strong foundation for an honest friendship. We make a great team whenever we work together too! There is something so refreshing about the relationships in which you can truly be your self. We have provided one another a listening ear, tough love (we call it as we see it), support, advice and perspective and most importantly lots of laughter.
This story time brings us to today’s topic: Self Awareness.
My question that day, in beautiful Holland, was intended to focus forward and discuss the positive. However it came across as a critique of the presentation. The setting and tone I used asking it (especially with my east coast accent) calls for a face palm emoji!
Thankfully my (now) dear friend was the only one in the room who did not yet know me. The other folks in the room knew me well enough to understand where the root of the question and were genuinely interested in knowing the answer (even seconding the question). Even though others were interested, I used this experience and her feedback to check myself and reflect on:
Over the years of studying spiritual topics, faith, new-age philosophies and modern thinking, the topic “self-love” is tossed around as almost a solution to every problem. In this particular case, I could have easily told myself, ‘It’s okay rose you did your best and its okay.’ If I had brushed this off and simply given myself a hug, I would missed a huge opportunity for self-awareness and improvement.
Loving yourself is super important but first, KNOWING yourself should be the higher priority. Really being able to look in the mirror and KNOW who is looking back in topics such as core values, typical behaviors, motives. Those HEART type topics that can sometimes be glossed over or easily distracted from if we simply ‘love’ ourselves in our current state.
True self-love only comes about when we face the uncomfortable parts of ourselves and work toward the person we really want to become. Each time we make a better choice we empower ourselves! What you don’t like about yourself you don’t have to accept. You CAN change. One small day, habit, choice at a time.
In addition to planning for the following month, I typically take the time to look back over the previous month and see where I grew as a person. Honestly asking myself, ‘How did I do this month, really?” Hard as it sometimes can be, the long term result of self improvement creates stability and conviction for the foundation of a healthy and deep love for self.
Today, I urge you, to take one small step toward a character trait you are wanting to build or change you are hoping to make. Maybe it is:
Would love to hear both the things you are looking forward to in February AND, if you want to share the one step you will make toward self improvement this month! Please comment below