2022: Selecting a word of the year
Ideas and selection of the 2022 word of the year. Complete with links to thought-provoking ideas, a list of potential words for you and what I have selected!
Month: December 2021
Being bold enough to believe in your dreams
In short, no more auto-pilot down mediocre street. No more settling for second best. This is YOUR LIFE. Take control of your thoughts, actions and thus your future.
Creating a vision.
Storytime
Recently, listening to a pod cast, the host asked, “Are your thoughts in harmony with your vision for the future?” I will admit, as is reflected by one of my posts this month, my thoughts haven’t been nearly as positive or productive as I’d like. The question gave me the realization that not only were my thoughts not helpful lately; but also: I had lost sight of my vision.
Unfortunately, doubt started to creep in. The thought of settling for something less than what I wanted seemed like an okay answer. My typical upbeat nature was knocked off its ladder wrung. My energy was focused on the wrong thing (such as the news); instead of my personal dreams and desires for myself. Can you relate to this feeling? It is not one that I like, and certainly not one I invited to stay. But after all, we are human and it happens from time to time. The important thing is snapping out of it and realigning on our vision.
Do you have a vision for the future?
Let’s dive into this for a second. First of all, do you have a vision? Meaning, do you have a vision for how you want your day, your week, your month, your entire next year to look? Or maybe you have what I think of as nostalgia for the future?
No matter the timeframe you create your vision for, whether it is just today, this hour or as far as as thinking of how you want to feel while you are on your deathbed. Having a vision is the first step, which is what we will go through today.
In future blogs, we will discuss, aligning your thoughts and actions to that vision. While, continuously allowing the vision to unfold. As well as, being aware of your specific reasons ‘why’. Tying your values and your personal needs/wants into your vision will keep you on a path aligned with you, personally. This is helpful since there can be thousands of ways to get to the same result, staying true to yourself will become even more important.
Goodbye 2021, Hello 2022
This might be a good time to create a vision for 2022 specifically and we will use it as a basic example. So, get cozy, make a cup of tea and give yourself a few minutes to think on the following reflection questions or maybe even journal them out. Let yourself dream big, let your mind drift toward what your heart truly wants. Do not worry about anything but what your ideal version would look like.
Once you feel cozy, picture in your minds eye, waking up on December 23rd, 2022. You look at your phone, get up and do your morning routine. From this perspective reflect on the following questions.
Reflection questions to consider:
The big stuff
- This time, next year, when you look back over 2022, what will you want to be thinking about, feeling and be proud of?
- Have you accomplished the bigger things you were hoping to during the year? What are the top 10 things you are grateful for from 2022. Do you feel you personally grew as a person? Whether that be as big as healing trauma, or as kind to yourself as relaxing more often?
- Can you picture the favorite places you travelled to, and new experiences or hobbies you’ve started? Are there places where you want to go back to? Or places you finally crossed off your bucket list?
- Socially, did you get to see the people near and dear to your heart this year? Did you get to spend time with old friends and make some new friends? Are there any particular people you are happy to have grown closer to? Are you hesitant to think about family gatherings or worried about how some conversations will go? Or are you excited to be reunited with loved one’s you haven’t seen in years?
- Emotionally, how are you feeling about your year, your life? Does your heart feel heavy with another year passed? Or are you overjoyed thinking about the future? Are you excited to watch your children celebrate? Are you looking forward to kissing someone special under the mistletoe? Have you given yourself the space to take a deep breathe every now and then and truly relax?
Daily Life
- As you wake up the other people in your household, how will you move about your home? Are you in the same home as you are today, or have you moved into your dream home? Are there additional people in your family? Any that you’ve had to say goodbye to?
- What sounds do you hear each morning? Perhaps, the garage door open as your loved one leaves for work? Or the sound of coffee brewing and your pets waking up and doing their little morning shake? Maybe you hear your teenager turning on their music and belting a song in the shower?
- When you look in the mirror, what will your body look like? Have you made the progress you wanted to over the year toward becoming more fit, healthy or toned?
- As you sign on to check your email, what is your title at work? What types of work are you finishing up before the holiday’s? Have you decided to pivot your career and start something new or have you finally made it with a solid income from your side gig?
A starting point
This list isn’t meant to be complete, but it is meant to be a starting point. Answering even a few of the questions, hopefully, started the visions of 2022 flowing and maybe even beyond next year. Doing this from the perspective of your entire life is also a great way to check-in with yourself on what you truly want.
Remember, if you choose to do this, let your heart speak from the ‘future’ you, looking back over life. Don’t cloud your visions with “what if’s” or “that won’t happen for me” or any other type of limiting thought. Let the visions come into your mind easily and without judgement.
Revisit these visions often, and if you have written them down, read them often. I’ve also known people to draw their visions, paint them, express them through music or create a vision board using pictures from the internet.
The idea is to keep these visions close by your mind, and of course in your heart. Allowing yourself to adjust them as necessary. In a future blog we will discuss allowing these visions to unfold, giving yourself grace and you trip and let yourself settle and how to keep your thoughts in harmony with your vision.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Today’s post is a bit of an intense exercise. You may want a pen and paper to jot down your thoughts. And maybe some time to sit with the questions and come up with some answers. Some of you may even want to spread this {read more}
Reflections on failure
This isn’t your typical blog
Before reading, please know this isn’t a pleasant, up beat or even peppy post. Instead this post is raw and reflects feelings of failure and my previous mismeasurement of success. It may trigger some, and be misunderstood by others. I first thought of naming it real life, but I’m sure eventually I’ll overcome this moment in time and ‘real life’ will be different yet again. Please do not think for a second that I am ungrateful for all the experiences, which have been amazing and aplenty. Instead please know that these are simply feelings and reflections that go on inside of most people no matter the perception of ‘success’ from the outside.
Through writing this, I found a great blog on the types of failure that helped gain perspective.
Looking back
Seven years ago today, the trajectory of my life went in a new direction. After experiencing a job loss and going through the processing of grief, confusion, loss of purpose and especially loss of confidence; I had finally started a new position. Little did I know at the time my previous sense of accomplishment and confidence would never return.
We are called a narcissistic generation. We are told that technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. But most of us don’t walk around feeling like we are all that great. In fact, there is one underlying emotion that overwhelmingly shapes our self-image and influences our behavior, and that is insecurity.
https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-overcome-insecurity/
Goal posts
You see, up to this point in my life, I always had a goal post and would do everything to get there as fast as possible. Never did I intend to compete with anyone else, either before me or my peers, I just simply went through life on my own schedule. I’d learn of something new I wanted to do or try, and I’d set out to get it done. Character flaws and all, I’d plow through, ignoring any intuition and certainly never slowing down.
Overachiever
At one point in my college years, I had 3 jobs, 21 credits with a 4.0, a volunteer position and a relationship. I didn’t sleep much in those days. I also lived in a city but refused to take the subway or a cab because I was doing everything to save as much money as possible. My hyper focus on getting to the end goal distracted me from any potential emotion, positive or negative. Things would happen, arguments would come up, and I’d let them come and go, never believing that stopping to ‘feel’ something would be worthwhile.
Most people would call me an overachiever to my face, some would be outright mean, and I just continued on. Other’s thought I was a great responsible person. No one warned me of burnout, or the self-destructive side of my choices and actions.
Hindsight
Admitting this is difficult. I look back and see how hurtful I was to those in my life. I look back and clearly see how much this way of life most likely was hurting my soul, but hindsight is 20/20 and there is no going back and changing it now. At the time I had no understanding of nurturing, caring or empathy. One person even named me ‘data’ from Startrek. Sometimes I wish someone had taken me aside and gave me a real talking to. I probably wouldn’t have listened or even understood what they were trying to tell me. I also see friends who did far greater than anything I could ever do in my life, those of my friends who have become MD’s, or are apart of non profit organizations, and those that are now missionaries. They truly gave their lives to something greater than themselves.
Real Life
This reason I write this today isn’t to out myself, or even to apologize. I’ve done that 1:1, don’t worry and if I haven’t and you have something I should be apologizing for please let me know. Instead it is to bring up the concept of real life, real raw emotion. Whilst I am aware that some people may have a more balanced mindset, and can go with the flow without worry or fear. It is certainly not something I experienced or have been able to maintain for long periods of time. Everyday I work on this. Everyday I try to do better than the last. It’s just that now, instead of trying to reach some financial goal, or learn more information, or apply for an award; I try to focus on my feeling state.
Now what?
Instead of being scrooge and counting my money or making a new retirement budget… I’ve started to spend more time experiencing things and building relationships with others. Noticing the beauty in the world, reading pretty things, feeling appreciation for those in my life. Or enjoying the taste of a dish, watching Bianca sleep or just having a brief conversation with a neighbor. Or for example, taking the courage to start this blog.
How’s that working out?
All that said, as life has started to pick back up and travel has started again; I have failed yet again. I cannot explain the loathing I have for myself at the moment. Instead of being able to be mindful and intentional, I slipped into some old version of myself who let her insecurities take over and words spew out. Defensive, stupid words that had no basis except to build a wall around my silly little ego. Fear sucks. It can consume our minds and reveal the worst in us. It makes us forget the lessons we’ve already learned and takes away our peace. Fear gets us into some awful situations, but doesn’t a provide a way out.
I enjoyed this blog on responding in different ways to failure.
Second guessing everything
So where does this leave me. I’ve started to second guess decisions, thoughts, things I already thought I solved for. My entire world feels like glass… or maybe a house of cards for those that watch the tele. My mind feels like its trapped in a puzzle that doesn’t end. I desperately want to be able to sit down and come up with a 2022 goals list. Hoping it would soothe me. But I’m so hyper aware that no achievement, no hobby could overcome this empty feeling inside. Again, I am incredibly grateful for all of the experiences and people in my life. In this moment, however, I don’t feel like I deserved any of it and wished I had shown up very differently on many occasions.
Until next time…
Sit down and have a serious conversation with your biggest critic… that might mean picking up the mirror.