Destination: The unfolding
When there is nothing left for you to do, but you aren’t quite to the destination yet. This is what we like to call the ‘unfolding’. You’ve prepared for this moment and given an honest effort, now it just has to unfold.
Month: July 2021
Taking steps toward your destination
Once you have established your destinations, as well as an approximation of how far away you are from each, it is time to assess what it might take to either get back on the right path, or make strides toward your destination.
Manageable pieces
A helpful way to do this is breaking things down into manageable pieces. No goal or change is too big to make. Anything can be achieved, I truly believe this. Even as time marches forward, I truly believe anyone can do anything. It will take being honest with oneself, and taking the necessary steps. Knowing the direction you are going is helpful, but breaking the goal into manageable pieces is even better.
If you think about this in terms of college, it helps to understand. As a high schooler graduates, the next big destination might be a Bachelors degree. In this instance, the individual breaks it down into years (typically 4 year degrees here in the states) followed by breaking it further down into semesters. This way of breaking things into the next immediate step, and focusing on it helps to manage the enormity of the end goal. Before the student even realizes, they will be done school!
Calculated risk
The second topic I’m mentioning today is calculated risk. Risk taking is a necessary in life, in general. It builds up our courage and empowers us when done in a well-thought out and calculated way. Some folks are more comfortable with risks. However I would counsel to only move forward with something you’ve thought through or at least slept a night or two on.
There will be times when a calculated risk is absolutely necessary to move forward and get through a valley of life. Truly considering the pros/cons and potentially financial up and downsides will only help in the long wrong. Gradually I have also seen people develop such a strong intuition in life through experience that the calculation is a simple ‘gut’ check.
One of the main reasons this is so helpful, is not only to ease your own mind. But also, to ease the minds of those around you. Often times when we take a leap toward our true dreams and goals, there will be naysayers. The people who express their doubts or concerns typically mean it for good, however they can easily be calmed (if you so choose) by showing them an analysis.
Secondly, calculating the risk also opens up other possibilities which may have not been originally discovered. Uncovering additional information and asking questions to uncover any unknowns is always helpful!
A calculated risk is a carefully considered decision that exposes a person to a degree of personal and financial risk that is counterbalanced by a reasonable possibility of benefit.
MasterClass.com
Discipline
Lastly, following your path, making progress and achieving the bite sized chunks toward your goals will take discipline. There will be days where your motivation and excitement toward a goal wane. In these moments, it will require your self-discipline to keep up the good habits and continue along your path. Habit tracking can be extremely helpful for holding yourself accountable in this way!
In a future post, we will discuss keeping your destination in clear site at all times, and ensuring your long term success free of distractions!
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I would love to hear some of your stories on figuring out what you truly wanted out of life, versus what you only thought you wanted! I wrote about my change in path in this previous post!
Destination: Success through clear, focused progress
The last post was all about deciding on the destination. Whether it be a new goal, or you still have your over-arching dream life in mind. Once you have determined your destination, it becomes important to keep your eyes and mind focused. Keeping focus on {read more}
Destination: A better life.
This post is a story time post! It contains the top 3 goals I’ve achieved through the reflection discussed in the last post. Throughout my journey, the most helpful articles and pieces of advice always came with actual examples of where it worked. Therefore, I’ve included the below as inspiration. These are some of the things I’ve achieved which vary in size and tangibility. Alas, they have been achieved! The examples I’ve chosen to expand upon are less tangible but much more important. Some may say they are soul-level goals.
being happier
If you haven’t watched the movie “Happy”, I highly recommend it. It reviews what happiness means around the world. In most cases, happiness stems from either a connection/relationship or the state of flow through creation.
For me, being happier is something I have to work at. A big part of this stemmed from my hyper critical nature and never believing what I was doing was ‘enough’. Over time I set the goal to be happier and improve in little areas. At first I would track, morning, noon and night my happy meter. Slowly, I actively would shift my mood when I found myself with a sad face too many times in a row. This also came with cultivating gratitude, as well as being more vulnerable with friends. Lastly, over time as I came to know myself better, I was sure to engage in activities that I wanted to do and enjoyed. If you need help in this area, my post on being unapologetically yourself might help!
being more friendly
In a previous post, which I’ll find and link here, I talked about the ‘Im not angry, I’m from Philly’ shirt. Unfortunately, where I grew up wasn’t known for its friendliness. Often a fairly violent place, close by to both Camden and Philadelphia most people had a stoic way about them. Keeping a guard up at all times, and being suspicious to boot. When moving to the south, the culture difference was palpable. People waved when walking past, most people smiled and at the very least folks would make eye contact. Over time, I took note and started to enjoy making connections with people in my community. In addition, I’ve learned how much better life is by being friendly! It also helps to be happier when the on-goings of the day are pleasant and laughter is common.
enjoying everyday
This goal seemed far-fetched to me when I set it. At the time, I was traveling 100% for work, didn’t have a dedicated desk in the office I reported to and couldn’t seem to find any comforts day in and day out. (I briefly discuss this experience in a previous post.) Being apart from your world isn’t easy. The moment I knew I needed to make a change happened on the phone with my Aunt. Her youngest was in her teens and not only did I want to set a better example, but I also came to a ‘what is the point of all this’ moment. If wasn’t able to enjoy most days, and at least enjoy something everyday; what would be the point of chugging along in life?!
After I made this goal, I realized I was truly challenging myself. Huge changes were needed to get back on track. First, I wrote down the things I did enjoy about my current life (and some of them included my co-worker at the time and the snow where I was). Secondly, I wrote down all the things I knew I loved but couldn’t enjoy because of my schedule. Third, I wrote down all the things I was looking forward to enjoying in the future but hadn’t experienced yet.
After, I shifted my priority and focus to accommodate what I actually wanted in life. After I reorganized my life and made some huge changed, I started a list of things I wanted to do everyday. This list included the things that would ensure enjoyment everyday. Things to look forward to and simple cozy things too.
Improving and revisiting
While I have achieved these things over the years, it isn’t to say I haven’t had to continue working toward improvements. We will talk about continuous improvement in future posts, along with revisiting old skills. As time marches on it is always important to go back and refresh once in awhile.
For example, one of my most proud accomplishments was the training of my puppies, Zoe and Bianca. Bianca is now 12 years old, her training took place over a decade ago. At the time, my dogs were so well behaved, listened to commands and knew sign language. They were so in touch with my every movement, they could almost predict what was going to happen next. This took time and dedication on my part; throughout our years together it came naturally. However, the passing of her sister was a rough event for both of us. I had to brush up on my training skills and get back into a consistent pattern of working with Bianca everyday.
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I would love to hear some of your big goals and destinations! And also any success you’ve seen or big changes you’ve initiated for yourself that could inspire others to start their own personal journey’s!
While I was originally starting off the journey to become happier, more friendly and enjoy everyday. A family friend introduced me to an amazing book (pictured here): The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The four agreements are:
1. Don’t take anything personally
2. Don’t make assumptions
3. Be impeccable with your word
4. Always do your best
This book can be life changing!
An adventure on the Blue Ridge Parkway
Photos from our recent day trip to Cumberland Knob, a gorgeous park and hiking trail off of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Low Gap, NC.
Destination: Yes, I can
Throughout the journey toward your destination, there will most likely be moments of worry, or doubt. Previous posts have addressed this from different angles. One post on self-doubt, which at the time I was feeling heavily. And another which provides some encouragement to keep going. {read more}