Asking for help is something I’ve never been good at. Over the course of many years, it is something I’ve realized I needed to improve on. Today for example, an awesome friend came over to help with a home project I’ve been wanting done for {read more}
Hello everyone! Today’s post is a bit different. Instead of a traditional blog post, I am launching my first products. And hosting the FIRST giveaway! Que the YAY here. The occasion, you ask?! Mother’s Day! This year, in the United States, Mother’s Day is on {read more}
Before we get started with today’s post: yes, I’m an extrovert :). I can also be a little extra. And lastly, in the past 15 years, I’ve never met a stranger 🙂
Have you seen the famous quote by Maya Angelou:
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But, people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
Recognizing that this is controversial to some who study psychology. Because technically you can’t make anyone feel a certain way. This quote still rings true in my opinion. While we can’t guarantee someone will understand or see our intentions; we can do our best to express intent. It would be a rare person who can let every interaction, no matter how extreme, just roll of their back. Plus, I honestly don’t know how healthy that would be. Not to mention, being thoughtful and treating others with kindness can change another person’s entire day.
As we go into any situation, it is up to us to be respectful, kind and present. Regardless, if it be with a stranger or someone we know well. Yes, sometimes we may be in a massive rush. Perhaps we’ve got our own ‘stuff’ going on. But to truly stop and ‘see’ the other person and hold space, is the most noble thing you can do. Even if the interaction is fleeting, in line at a drive through, the exchange can be not just pleasant but deeply human.
When I first moved down to the southern part of the United States, this was a struggle for me. Having been ‘trained up’ to be overly results oriented and reduce any emotion to zero; it was difficult for me to understand why people would want me to even make eye contact. Let alone, slow down long enough to exchange pleasantries. Remember the post where I talked about the t-shirt that says, “I’m not angry, I’m from Philly”?
In a specific example, a now amazing and dear friend of mine would pass by my cubicle each morning. And she’d ask, “Are you doing okay?” Leave it to this northerner to take offense. Thinking she was implying I wasn’t okay or that something seemed amiss. It wasn’t until years later, we would laugh about this. Years of her pouring into our friendship, listening to me and even letting me borrow her own mom for advice. Now, this seems so hilarious to me, but also looking back, kind of sad!
It also makes me realize that many people are walking around in a broken place and don’t even realize it. It is safe to say that my extreme cold demeanor and less than pleasant resting face, reflected something going on internally.
With a need for more than one pair of sunglasses, and more months with less layers, life was simply better. Being outside is my preference, and being social outside is even better. The opportunities to do so were vast in this world of Carolina blue skies. During the first few years of being in the South, not only did I experience a massive amount of sunshine, but I also became warmer.
Some think that southerners aren’t genuine. Granted, I can only speak from my experience, which has shown me that if someone asks how you are doing, they truly do want to know. In some cases, it might be for gossip (haha), but in most cases, its out of real concern. Gradually realizing how freeing it was to open up, about the tough stuff, and the happy stuff too!
Celebrating with and comforting others is what this life is all about.
– An extrovert who has never met a stranger
The general concern for other’s well-being exists in almost every interaction here. With close friends of course the topics are deeper and more vulnerable. With cashiers and the public, it is likely with enough interactions you’ll get to know them!
Over time many strangers have become friends – sometimes the person sitting next to me in the airport. And other times the college student ringing up my groceries.
Going back to Maya Angelou’s quote, in my mind this means to walk around authentically. It doesn’t necessarily mean smiling at others 24/7 or playing ‘walking on sunshine’ endlessly through your mind. I do think simply being genuine and paying attention makes the world of difference. “Seeing” another person by hearing what isn’t obvious and responding thoughtfully. Being available for another to just sit and talk. Listening without comment. Celebrating along side another, or walking into chaos with them. Taking responsibility for our own behavior within the context of the situation. We might not always say or do the right thing, but being genuine and thoughtful goes a long way.
Sometimes, after a long period of burn out, we loose motivation. Often, we see that coming. However, other times, the lack of motivation feels like it comes out of no where. In either case, this feeling can be quite unsettling. Especially for those who are {read more}
At one point or another, the majority of people find themselves in a situation they wish they weren’t in. Usually, this happens after a series of small decisions that slowly took the person off course. Rarely are these situations purposeful or an all-of-a-sudden type moment. {read more}
Today’s post is a bit different than most. In brief, it is a reflection exercise. Most likely, this should be done individually or in discussion with a loved one. It may be helpful to have old journals, phone notes or pictures within reach.
Think back 5 years from today. For those reading on the day this is published, that would be Friday, April 8th, 2016. If it wasn’t for ‘on this day’ reminders from our social media platforms, would you remember what you were doing? Do you think back and realize how far you’ve come? How much of what you were doing around that time, has now become second nature? What characteristics of yourself were you only considering developing at that time and now have?
Funny enough, during this time I was on a social media ‘pause’. However, based on my google calendar, this weekend was the Atlantic City Beer and Wine Fest which I was considering attending. As it turns out, I did not attend as hoped. But instead, had a work trip to Nashville to prepare for. My entire life was in such a different place compared to current state. Memory tells me that I was wanting to have every second of every day packed with activities. In addition, I was in the process of finding a different place to live. Honestly, being on the move was a huge comfort at that time. Based on phone pictures, I had flown with work friends to do a leadership seminar with me. Ah, how some things change and other just keep getting better!
Okay, after that, potentially long walk down memory lane, it is time to realize how far you’ve come. And yes, believe me, I know there might be so much further to go, and that’s a good thing! (This blog would not exist if it wasn’t for the fact I want to improve and inspire others to improve every single day).
However, there is a time and a place to give yourself credit. And consider this permission to make that time NOW! That being said, as the northern hemisphere comes out of the winter season and transitions to the Spring season, there is no better time than NOW to give yourself the credit. Allow yourself the moment to truly consider your accomplishments, your growth, any elimination of bad habits and establishment of new ones! After all, when is the last time you gave yourself a round of applause?
Today is just that short and sweet. Realizing, that it my be emotional to go back to Spring of 2016 and remember all the things. In order to keep things simple, I’m purposely not adding additional stories or thoughts of my own.
Much love, xoxo
Rose & Bianca
That dreaded feeling Do you ever find yourself asking, “What should I do now?” Potentially this question flashes before you at an unexpected dead-end in the road, and others it comes a ‘real-life’ dead-end. Sometimes, long-time-coming or completely unexpected, this feeling isn’t normally a good {read more}
Situational lessons to carry forward If there is anything this pandemic is teaching us, it is that determination and perseverance alone aren’t enough. Largely, at the very least, the need to adapt and adjust without knowing what is around the corner is necessary. In addition, {read more}
Consistency and repetition equal results. Being consistent is just about the only thing that will actually produce sustainable results. Meaning, very rarely will a one-time action allow for a long term goals. Improving incrementally and applying the trial and error idea go hand in hand with the idea of being consistent. Another important ingredient is accountability which is a topic for another day.
For example, any time we go about learning something, we need to study and practice. If we are wanting to become more fit or flexible, the best results come with a regular routine. Even training a dog or horse requires repeated interactions.
All the intensity in the world cannot produce the same results as consistency over time. Think about a time when you didn’t study for an exam and last minute try to ‘cram’. Or maybe thinking running a race with pure willpower vs preparation would get you through. While this technique may have worked a handful of times, it may have also resulted in injury or a poor score on a large portion of a final exam.
“…inconsistent behavior leaves no choice but to operate out of intensity as the time necessary for consistency has long since passed…. From our faith, to our habits, to our health, consistency consistently makes intensity a fool.“
Quinn Rivera // Humbled Daily Co-founder, doctor in training and aspiring professional lover of life. (https://www.humbleddaily.com/)
Consistency and repetition are the fastest ways to actually get to a final result! This may seem counter intuitive at first. It may seem that doing something once and going all-in is the answer. But in most of life’s opportunities, going through the process of learning, applying, adjusting is the only way to truly achieve the real goal. Seeing real results provides more motivation to keep going, and thus progress is made. Not just progress toward your goal but also progress in the journey – soul progress. The closer to you get toward a goal, the more clarity comes to what you really want.
Soon I will be writing a post about, “What do you really want?”. The thought behind this is that, typically we truly are in search of a feeling, or the journey versus just the end result. Recently, I’ve been considering this more and more. It isn’t just the fact I want to be able to do a back walk over to do circus tricks. Or for that matter, see the world upside down. Instead, it is that I want to prove to myself that I have the self-discipline, love for my body and resourcefulness to do what needs to be done everyday to work toward this goal. If I just wanted to do one back walk over, I would probably just go to a trampoline park and do a back flip in the air.
Back to our originally schedule program regarding consistency. Take your goals list out, or make one fresh! After all, it is the start of the second quarter of 2021. All of my corporate and sales-y friends make give me a hard time over my observation of the quarters. But it’s just such a good way to keep track of the year going by.
Anyway! Remind yourself of your goals in one way or another, if you have been have a particularly hard time getting motivated, go back to your purpose for each of your goals or revisit and create news ones.
Take the time, if you haven’t already to research what others who have achieved similar goals have done to get there. For example, when I decided to start this blog, I researched what other successful bloggers were doing. Related to: how many times they were posting, how they grew their audience, their monetization methods and much more. Once I had a baseline idea of some of the things and put my own flavor to it, I wrote down the top 3 habits and actions that would produce results.
Once you have actions associated with each of your goals, go to your calendar and prioritize those actions. This might be as simple as, ‘call friends’ during this block of time to build better relationships. Or it could be as intense as making appointments with a language coach. Either way, put it in the calendar and remind yourself of why you truly want to get to the end goal.
One last thing I would like to mention here. Being consistent and following through with your prioritized actions is a time commitment. The better way to describe this use of time is an investment. You are choosing to take an action consistently over time, making small improvements each round which WILL produce results. If for some reason the time commitment feels burdensome or off, re-check your priorities and your purpose and ask yourself if the end goal is something you really want.
Today’s topic is more simple than most but the most important! THANK YOU. Thank you to those who are reading and following along. A special thank you to those who have texted, shown support and shared your own stories! And, I can’t forget those I’ve {read more}