This post is a story time post! It contains the top 3 goals I’ve achieved through the reflection discussed in the last post. Throughout my journey, the most helpful articles and pieces of advice always came with actual examples of where it worked. Therefore, I’ve {read more}
Photos from our recent day trip to Cumberland Knob, a gorgeous park and hiking trail off of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Low Gap, NC.
Throughout the journey toward your destination, there will most likely be moments of worry, or doubt. Previous posts have addressed this from different angles. One post on self-doubt, which at the time I was feeling heavily. And another which provides some encouragement to keep going. It goes without saying that the mind body connection plays an important role in achieving success. This more recent topic of study is revealing that our minds affect the status of our bodies and our bodies affect the status of our minds.
Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes affect our biological functioning… Many mind-body therapies focus on becoming more conscious of mental states and using this increased awareness to guide our mental states in a better, less destructive direction.
This awareness crosses over well with our specific goals and desires for life! Think about the initial rush you get when setting out for a new goal, typically without any hesitation or doubts. Or, in the reverse, think about the marathon runner whose body is ready to stop, but whose mind keeps them going over the finish line!
In my experience, mind over matter is a reality. Realizing I couldn’t live off the initial rush of a new goal forever, I had to find a way to help my brain and body align proactively. Specifically I would often have to convince my mind that at least trying something new would be a good idea. Convincing the mind that the feet should move!
Both of these posts discuss how great it feels when your first setting your goals, and completing your visions. Or even if you are a day dreamer, the thought behind the dream is exciting and positive thoughts swirl! I love this feeling, but the reality is, this feeling doesn’t always last. Sometimes, in the middle of the process to get where you are going, the happy swirly feeling wears off.
If for some reason you don’t have this initial feeling and instead are going after your destination because of a required outcome. Such as a degree or certification, this post is ALSO for you. At times, this can be the more difficult path, however you are already in a logical state of mind when starting. Meaning, the outcome is necessary for your ‘true’ destination.
Personally I don’t think this is a bad thing for a handful of reasons. First, when the initial feeling wears off, your logical mind must determine if it is something you truly want, really. If your goal is still in your heart, you will be able to push through the tough stuff. (Discussed in this post about tenacity.) Basically, if you want something enough, you will find a way no matter the challenges.
A second reason the wane of the initial feeling is beneficial, is that it adds meaning to each stepping stone. Instead of a feeling getting you through, character traits or virtues are built. When I think of the people in life I respect the most, my grandparents come to mind. Although their lives were not easy and they experienced long periods where faith just didn’t make sense; my grand mom especially kept her faith and continued on. They pushed through, raised a family (in my opinion very well). They started a business and maintained relationships in the community. All of these things are admirable in my eyes.
Potentially a bit old-fashioned but the struggle also keeps humility present. And lastly, having the dedication to keep going and learn how to maneuver, can be a catalyst for teaching the next generation.
This brings is to the purpose of today’s post, which is to provide a list of helpful affirmations to repeat when your logical mind can’t seem to see through the struggle.
Positive affirmations are brief phrases, repeated frequently, which are designed to encourage positive, happy feelings, thoughts, and attitudes.
These affirmations might not bring the magical feeling back, but they will allow a break in any negative thought patterns. If you’d like to learn more about affirmations from a scientific perspective, this blog post by Dr. Zarya Rubin, MD provides just that. In short, her post reviews why affirmations aren’t just another positive psychology “hack”.
In fact, affirmations can actually help our mood and provide a more positive self-identity, as discussed in this post with scientific references, by Catherine Moore (Psychologist and MBA). So, we know that there are rarely shortcuts in life, but we can use affirmations to help smooth the path!
Now that we’ve established that science backs affirmations, here are a few examples. Hopefully these will help to get you started, or can be added to your existing list! With this, I would encourage you to come up with a few of your own which mean something specifically to you and written in a language you feel most comfortable with
In the comments below, please share your go-to affirmations or any which have worked for you in the past! It will help to inspire others and uplift the community of readers!
When doing a life evaluation, it can feel so BIG. Interestingly, I tend to want to change my entire life every March or April. It is such an odd thing I’ve recognized about myself. Basically I wake up at the end of winter, when the {read more}
Thought provoking, fun and light hearted journal or conversation prompts. Can be used for your own personal recollection, your next date or even a team building exercise!
We’ve most likely all been there. We wake up and feel irritated for no good reason. Or maybe a few moments after we wake up, something small but crappy happens. This is seemingly a part of life everyone experiences. Perhaps there are groups of spiritual people who are so centered they don’t experience this. But, for the rest of us, especially in western culture, it would seem like this is normal.
So today, let’s talk about how to change your day AFTER you’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes it seems like there is no going back and the only thing that will help is going to sleep and waking up again. However, this could mean a day wasted. Instead, why not change it around and make the most of the day. Stare that bad mood in the face and tell it to go away.
Once you are in a better mood, perhaps decide on your perfect day and fill out your this or that form!
Perhaps this seems counterintuitive. However, it has worked for me every time. Often, on days where we start off on the wrong side of the bed, is causes us to rush, which somehow becomes a domino effect. As we rush around, we might spill something, smear our makeup or maybe even put two different shoes on (true story). Purposely slowing down and taking our time might not feel right, but it WILL HELP. Slowing down allows us to catch-up with our thoughts and move at a calm and collected pace.
Bianca knows she can be an instant mood booster, not just to me but anyone who sees her. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, I take her for a drive or walk through a public park. Seeing other people light up when they see my precious girl immediately lifts my mood.
They say misery loves company, but more so, I’m referring to talking to a friend about something completely different. Asking a friend how things are going for them, or talking about something that reminded you of them. Anything to get your mind off your own self and on to something else.
This was especially helpful when we were still going into the office. On days where I just wasn’t feeling it, I’d purposely put on my favorite top, pants or shoes. Or maybe even style my hair in a way I liked better. This helped me to feel more confident, comfortable and better in general.
Okay so this one might seem strange, and it might even seem impossible to come up with something funny when you are in a bad mood. There is one joke which I always use, its super silly about a horse walking into a bar. Again, watching other people laugh (or in my case roll their eyes) helps to put things in perspective and lighten the mood.
A second to the one above works especially if you aren’t around others. Simple do a google search for humor, jokes, puns, etc. This helps TREMENDOUSLY. I tend to LOVE puns, and reading them just helps. It often even gets a hearty laugh out of me. Depending on how dark your humor is, this should help to brighten things up.
If you know me in person, you know I’m big on hydration. Not only do I tend to keep water or kombucha with me at all times, I also encourage others to stay hydrated. Drinking water upon waking, and throughout the day physically helps. It also helps to provide a pause before speaking, or have a calming affect while reading or watching a show.
Slowing down your breath, becoming aware of your breath and exhaling in a sigh of relief can help to improve your mood. This goes hand in hand with hydrating, because it is a physical indication to your brain that things are okay. It allows for us to slow down and reduces that feeling of rushing that often occurs on bad days.
This seems to be a popular recommendation lately. After dismissing it as silly I finally gave it a try. The idea is that by identifying something you see, taste, smell, feel and hear; you will feel more connected to your surroundings and thus more grounded. It makes sense in theory and has actually worked for me a handful of times.
Even if you take a short nap, this can help provide a restart to your system.
What are some of the things you do to get in a better mood? How would you add to this list, and have you tried any of the above? If so, comment down below!
P.S. when you know your mood is not stemming from just waking up on the wrong side of the bed and instead it is more related to where you are in your life. A post from awhile back might be of help: What now? This post discusses that dreaded feeling when you know you just aren’t going down the right path and constantly feel like you are in a dead end.
What sets your soul on fire? Do you remember the last time you had an inner knowing that you CAN and WILL achieve your dreams? Today’s blog post discusses the importance of passion and tenacity when meeting your goals.
Today’s post contains thoughts and inspiration around why delight is so important on a daily basis. Also included are links to books about delight. AND phone backgrounds for a reminder to find delight today!
Recently, the childhood memory of playing video games with my brother popped into my mind. He was always able to win faster, I think he understood the cause/effect better than I did. Another memory which comes to mind is trying to learn, by his patient instruction, how to maneuver my person in Street Fighter. In my mind, my brother was always better at everything. Being the younger sister, I have the benefit of him experiencing a ton of things first. This allowed for me to watch and learn.
Side note, I’m so glad I’m not the first child! I think being the second and the ‘baby’ has huge advantages, personally. I’d love to know what is your birth order and how you feel about this!
It seems to me that my brother is more competitive in comparison to me. Not only more competitive but also more tenacious. During games, or sports or just having a friendly game of Around the World in the driveway, my tendency is to want to enjoy the event, moment or time together. While, my brother would improve his skills, no matter the topic, until he won. Whereas I just want things to come naturally and of course do my best. My brother will work toward improving a skill from a mental and technical sense.
In my opinion, my brother’s ability to keep leveling up is very impressive. And it takes a different mindset than my own. This realization came upon me while watching a video featuring “Doctor Mike”. In this video, Dr. Mike says something like, “How do you find motivation to keep doing something you are bad at?” This statement resonated with me for a few reasons. First off, Dr. Mike is extremely successful, it just so happens that he has good at many things. Secondly, it calls to mind the things I don’t enjoy simply because I am not good at them.
In contrast, my brother will probably try almost anything once and regardless of ability, he will continue doing it if he enjoys it. Whereas, if I don’t seem to be picking something up quickly, I don’t tend to enjoy it. On the other hand, if I do enjoy something I don’t need to ever ‘win’ against another person. And this is where the philosophical thoughts could pour in.
While the thought of ‘winning’ doesn’t do much for me. The thought of gaining new skills, and improving the ones I do have is top of mind. In addition, I do enjoy trying new things, and I will put my all into something of interest. One of the most enjoyable activities for me throughout my life is learning the equestrian disciplines. Yet, I think of my desire to learn guitar. The desire is strong, and I enjoy the activity but I feel I need a teacher to guide me. I suppose I enjoy the process of improvement vs putting the skill on display.
In this way, winning to me actually means simply getting better or trying again. Winning does not necessary have to be in competition against another person or team. Winning can be in your own right. Thinking back to my childhood, I have such fund memories of even just watching my brother play video games. I didn’t necessary need to actually play. My enjoyment came from spending time together, not who could hit the right combination of buttons on the controller.
Recognizing what motivates us is so helpful in finding our happy place, or flow point! In addition, I distinctly remember thinking something was wrong with me growing up because I didn’t want to compete. This contrast is interesting consider. Especially because its simply a difference in personality, neither is right or wrong. Instead, it seems that both types of personalities bring balance to the world.
What motivates you? Is the thought of winning the blue ribbon what gets you to the barn at 5am? Or is the experience and enjoyment of riding all you need? Is it a mix of both of these concepts?
In the last post, I briefly touched on some of the ways this year has felt like a roller coaster. Here lately, not only have external events happened to shake things up. But also, internally I’ve started to experience something I think most people feel {read more}