Once you have established your destinations, as well as an approximation of how far away you are from each, it is time to assess what it might take to either get back on the right path, or make strides toward your destination. Manageable pieces {read more}
The last post was all about deciding on the destination. Whether it be a new goal, or you still have your over-arching dream life in mind. Once you have determined your destination, it becomes important to keep your eyes and mind focused. Keeping focus on your destination will allow for measured progress and the elimination of any distractions.
Before we jump into why being clear on your destination and keeping it in your focus is so important. Let’s briefly discuss the tools which can help with this! One way, which we’ve discussed on this blog is creating a vision board. Another way is to create your playlist. Select songs which motivate you, remind you of your goals and be that little twinkle when heard out of context! Some people will put post-it’s on their mirrors or write their goals down and read it morning, noon and night. Others keep a digital list as the background of their phone. And other I know of, simply remind themselves mentally. If you have any tips or advice in this area, please do add it to the comments below!
No matter the way you decide to keep your goals top of mind, the importance of doing so is well proven. The more energy and focus you put on what you want, the more discipline you will have in staying on track. And, potentially the more exciting it is when you see progress. Keeping your chin up, hands at 10 and 2, eyes on the horizon are all physical ways to keep distractions from veering you off course. Establishing and maintaining this clear vision of your destination will keep your mind and spirit on the same page:
“…the clearer you become about your destination and the more you can connect with it head, heart and gut; the more likely it is that you will achieve it.”
Brian Gorman
Do not allow yourself to get distracted or tossed in the wind by fleeting whims. Instant gratification, or ‘magical’ remedies rarely, if ever actually work. Not to mention how far off track a cheat meal actually gets us! This is most likely evident to those reading this blog which is geared toward self improvement and long term success. However, too often will our human minds trade in our long term success for something in the moment. And then one moment becomes 2 and 2 becomes 4 and down the rabbit hole we find ourselves!
Just think of a time when you purchased something way over budget and regretted it almost immediately. Or perhaps a time when you knew another chapter of reading would improve your chances on a test. But instead, you opted to play games on your phone. In these instances, the feeling of desire typically doesn’t last beyond the attainment. Therefore, it leaves us feeling behind on our goal. Diane Koopman gives even more reason not to become distracted by ‘shiny objects’ in this post on Instant Gratification.
Note to self: short term pleasure is not worth trading my long term success!
With the last paragraph behind us, it is important to note that balance is key to finding long term success. Healthy and mindful stress-release, along with finding flow outside of your main goals is extremely important. This concept also points to the fact that typically, your long term goal may seem simple but has many facets. Meaning, you may have a goal in sight, which also leads to other achievements and a well-rounded life.
As an example, let’s say your main goal in life is to become the CEO of a company. This comes with: responsibility, power, prestige, travel, social circles, wealth. And many other attributes which you are also most likely wanting in addition to the title of ‘CEO’. Another example, outside of the business world, could be becoming a mother. In this example, the desire most likely is not just to have a baby. But also, to nurture your child, become a parent. Not to mention, building a legacy. All that, while also experiencing playtime, exploring and seeing the world through a child’s eyes!
Because most of our long-term dreams include the surrounding aspects, keeping the balance on the journey is equally important. Finding flow in a hobby and developing healthy habits will help to keep you on track. While also, paving the way for the future goal to come into fruition. That way, once you are CEO of a company AND a mother; you’ll be able to continue the balance between your career, your family and your own personal self care.
When facing any discouragement, it will become evermore important to keep going. Surely, you’ve watched friends give up just before there could have been a major breakthrough. Or someone stops short because they simply haven’t seen the income they’d hoped for. These are the times when your personal clarity and ‘why’ behind your goal is SO important. Remember, the final destination is more than just a dot on a map.
Most of the time, our reasoning behind our stated destination is so much more than just getting there. Instead, it is about building the character, gaining the skills or having the experience. Yes, at times, we just want (or maybe need) money to start flowing in, but usually our true desires are more than financial. Even in our careers, yes our paychecks might be in the top 2 reasons we do our jobs, but the fulfillment we get out of it should be prioritized as well.
As you move down the path toward success, you are sure to see some unexpected setbacks. Alongside bursts of progress. As this occurs, it will require you to stay clear on your destination. So that, you can make any small adjustments to stay on track. Staying clear on your destination allows you to see when progress is being made. In addition to when things are starting to go off track. Without clarity on where you are going, it would be much more difficult to know whether the decision to turn left or right even matter. Even if you do not have an exact map (perhaps because you are in unchartered territory); your intuition will most likely kick-in to let you know.
When we face these setbacks and discouragements, it should be a sign to make an adjustment; however we should never simply give up. If something is truly a passion, our inner selves will take over and give us the extra push and tenacity we need. Sometimes a break is necessary to re-gain clarity, but at the end of the day it is so important we keep going.
If you are at a point where you’ve got the clarity on your end destination and you’ve already made adjustments but just can’t seem to find the courage to put yourself out there. This post on having the courage to create might be for you!
In the business world, we track and measure our progress through KPI’s (key performance indicators). KPI’s are an indicator on the current status and health of the topic. KPI’s are similar to the warning lights in your car. In order to know which KPI’s apply to the specific situation or changes we are making, it is imperative to be extremely clear about the end goal.
Examples of these measurements in our day to day lives might be things like:
While a friend of mine was trying to loose weight, she used her iPhone watch to track activities and food. In addition, she weighed herself everyday and took the AVERAGE weight week by week to track progress. This helped to keep things in perspective as well as give a more accurate picture of the trend over time. Not to mention, weighing everyday was more motivation to eat properly and stay active!
In the past, I was the type of person who, until the goal was met, I would not allow myself to celebrate. In addition, I wanted to reach my end goal as fast as possible. This mentality got me through a 5 year college program in 3 years, something I am proud of. Looking back, I wished I had let myself *feel* the success of each assignment. Or at the very least each course with a score of 4.0.
Not only would I push myself to do my best and go as fast as possible. As soon as an achievement was complete, I was on to the next thing. Sadly, accomplishments came and went. Instead of celebrating, I would put pressure on myself to do better, go faster and improve for the next time. (Quick side note: while I was doing this I had no idea how it felt to an outsider looking in. Most of the people who are labeled as type-a or overachievers are, in no way shape or form, comparing themselves to anyone but themselves! I say this because all too often someone would think I was trying to out-show someone else and this just isn’t the case).
Never really been known as a ‘fun’ person, I want to add a key component to celebration. Celebration does not have to be traditional in any sense. If you are similar in disposition to me, shaking a bottle of champagne or pouring the ice water over someone isn’t your thing. Instead, for me celebration is quiet, an inner feeling that I really don’t even need another to witness.
All that being said, learning to celebrate and feel accomplishment in your own way is important. Recognizing your own unique talents and personality treats which have gotten you to your destination is something to celebrate! Figure out what feels right to you and give yourself the moment to feel good about your accomplishments. The celebration can be as simple as: letting out that sigh of relief. Especially, after you do something you never thought you’d be able to do!
In the comments, it would be great to hear how you enjoy celebrating. And adding in the last thing you HAVE celebrated!
This post is a story time post! It contains the top 3 goals I’ve achieved through the reflection discussed in the last post. Throughout my journey, the most helpful articles and pieces of advice always came with actual examples of where it worked. Therefore, I’ve {read more}
Photos from our recent day trip to Cumberland Knob, a gorgeous park and hiking trail off of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Low Gap, NC.
Throughout the journey toward your destination, there will most likely be moments of worry, or doubt. Previous posts have addressed this from different angles. One post on self-doubt, which at the time I was feeling heavily. And another which provides some encouragement to keep going. It goes without saying that the mind body connection plays an important role in achieving success. This more recent topic of study is revealing that our minds affect the status of our bodies and our bodies affect the status of our minds.
Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes affect our biological functioning… Many mind-body therapies focus on becoming more conscious of mental states and using this increased awareness to guide our mental states in a better, less destructive direction.
This awareness crosses over well with our specific goals and desires for life! Think about the initial rush you get when setting out for a new goal, typically without any hesitation or doubts. Or, in the reverse, think about the marathon runner whose body is ready to stop, but whose mind keeps them going over the finish line!
In my experience, mind over matter is a reality. Realizing I couldn’t live off the initial rush of a new goal forever, I had to find a way to help my brain and body align proactively. Specifically I would often have to convince my mind that at least trying something new would be a good idea. Convincing the mind that the feet should move!
Both of these posts discuss how great it feels when your first setting your goals, and completing your visions. Or even if you are a day dreamer, the thought behind the dream is exciting and positive thoughts swirl! I love this feeling, but the reality is, this feeling doesn’t always last. Sometimes, in the middle of the process to get where you are going, the happy swirly feeling wears off.
If for some reason you don’t have this initial feeling and instead are going after your destination because of a required outcome. Such as a degree or certification, this post is ALSO for you. At times, this can be the more difficult path, however you are already in a logical state of mind when starting. Meaning, the outcome is necessary for your ‘true’ destination.
Personally I don’t think this is a bad thing for a handful of reasons. First, when the initial feeling wears off, your logical mind must determine if it is something you truly want, really. If your goal is still in your heart, you will be able to push through the tough stuff. (Discussed in this post about tenacity.) Basically, if you want something enough, you will find a way no matter the challenges.
A second reason the wane of the initial feeling is beneficial, is that it adds meaning to each stepping stone. Instead of a feeling getting you through, character traits or virtues are built. When I think of the people in life I respect the most, my grandparents come to mind. Although their lives were not easy and they experienced long periods where faith just didn’t make sense; my grand mom especially kept her faith and continued on. They pushed through, raised a family (in my opinion very well). They started a business and maintained relationships in the community. All of these things are admirable in my eyes.
Potentially a bit old-fashioned but the struggle also keeps humility present. And lastly, having the dedication to keep going and learn how to maneuver, can be a catalyst for teaching the next generation.
This brings is to the purpose of today’s post, which is to provide a list of helpful affirmations to repeat when your logical mind can’t seem to see through the struggle.
Positive affirmations are brief phrases, repeated frequently, which are designed to encourage positive, happy feelings, thoughts, and attitudes.
These affirmations might not bring the magical feeling back, but they will allow a break in any negative thought patterns. If you’d like to learn more about affirmations from a scientific perspective, this blog post by Dr. Zarya Rubin, MD provides just that. In short, her post reviews why affirmations aren’t just another positive psychology “hack”.
In fact, affirmations can actually help our mood and provide a more positive self-identity, as discussed in this post with scientific references, by Catherine Moore (Psychologist and MBA). So, we know that there are rarely shortcuts in life, but we can use affirmations to help smooth the path!
Now that we’ve established that science backs affirmations, here are a few examples. Hopefully these will help to get you started, or can be added to your existing list! With this, I would encourage you to come up with a few of your own which mean something specifically to you and written in a language you feel most comfortable with
In the comments below, please share your go-to affirmations or any which have worked for you in the past! It will help to inspire others and uplift the community of readers!
When doing a life evaluation, it can feel so BIG. Interestingly, I tend to want to change my entire life every March or April. It is such an odd thing I’ve recognized about myself. Basically I wake up at the end of winter, when the {read more}
Thought provoking, fun and light hearted journal or conversation prompts. Can be used for your own personal recollection, your next date or even a team building exercise!
We’ve most likely all been there. We wake up and feel irritated for no good reason. Or maybe a few moments after we wake up, something small but crappy happens. This is seemingly a part of life everyone experiences. Perhaps there are groups of spiritual people who are so centered they don’t experience this. But, for the rest of us, especially in western culture, it would seem like this is normal.
So today, let’s talk about how to change your day AFTER you’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes it seems like there is no going back and the only thing that will help is going to sleep and waking up again. However, this could mean a day wasted. Instead, why not change it around and make the most of the day. Stare that bad mood in the face and tell it to go away.
Once you are in a better mood, perhaps decide on your perfect day and fill out your this or that form!
Perhaps this seems counterintuitive. However, it has worked for me every time. Often, on days where we start off on the wrong side of the bed, is causes us to rush, which somehow becomes a domino effect. As we rush around, we might spill something, smear our makeup or maybe even put two different shoes on (true story). Purposely slowing down and taking our time might not feel right, but it WILL HELP. Slowing down allows us to catch-up with our thoughts and move at a calm and collected pace.
Bianca knows she can be an instant mood booster, not just to me but anyone who sees her. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, I take her for a drive or walk through a public park. Seeing other people light up when they see my precious girl immediately lifts my mood.
They say misery loves company, but more so, I’m referring to talking to a friend about something completely different. Asking a friend how things are going for them, or talking about something that reminded you of them. Anything to get your mind off your own self and on to something else.
This was especially helpful when we were still going into the office. On days where I just wasn’t feeling it, I’d purposely put on my favorite top, pants or shoes. Or maybe even style my hair in a way I liked better. This helped me to feel more confident, comfortable and better in general.
Okay so this one might seem strange, and it might even seem impossible to come up with something funny when you are in a bad mood. There is one joke which I always use, its super silly about a horse walking into a bar. Again, watching other people laugh (or in my case roll their eyes) helps to put things in perspective and lighten the mood.
A second to the one above works especially if you aren’t around others. Simple do a google search for humor, jokes, puns, etc. This helps TREMENDOUSLY. I tend to LOVE puns, and reading them just helps. It often even gets a hearty laugh out of me. Depending on how dark your humor is, this should help to brighten things up.
If you know me in person, you know I’m big on hydration. Not only do I tend to keep water or kombucha with me at all times, I also encourage others to stay hydrated. Drinking water upon waking, and throughout the day physically helps. It also helps to provide a pause before speaking, or have a calming affect while reading or watching a show.
Slowing down your breath, becoming aware of your breath and exhaling in a sigh of relief can help to improve your mood. This goes hand in hand with hydrating, because it is a physical indication to your brain that things are okay. It allows for us to slow down and reduces that feeling of rushing that often occurs on bad days.
This seems to be a popular recommendation lately. After dismissing it as silly I finally gave it a try. The idea is that by identifying something you see, taste, smell, feel and hear; you will feel more connected to your surroundings and thus more grounded. It makes sense in theory and has actually worked for me a handful of times.
Even if you take a short nap, this can help provide a restart to your system.
What are some of the things you do to get in a better mood? How would you add to this list, and have you tried any of the above? If so, comment down below!
P.S. when you know your mood is not stemming from just waking up on the wrong side of the bed and instead it is more related to where you are in your life. A post from awhile back might be of help: What now? This post discusses that dreaded feeling when you know you just aren’t going down the right path and constantly feel like you are in a dead end.
What sets your soul on fire? Do you remember the last time you had an inner knowing that you CAN and WILL achieve your dreams? Today’s blog post discusses the importance of passion and tenacity when meeting your goals.
